It's the end of August -- pretty much September -- & Summer has flown by.
I feel like my Summer was spent working with a bit of travel mixed in -- I went to France in June/July and it was amazing!
I worked A LOT -- 12, 15 even 18 hour days and sometimes I worked on the weekends. Working in episodic television can be overwhelming, draining & all of the above. On most days I felt overworked and unmotivated.
Work began to consume me and I quickly became uninspired & bored.
Uninspired to write.
Uninspired to read.
Uninspired to create.
I was just over it all.
I tried to use the weekends (when I had free weekends) as my time to get my creativity flowing, but I ended up choosing rest over any of the things that I wanted to do. I neglected writing and updating my blog and working on my paintings -- but my mind just wasn't in it.
I realized that it's okay to take a mental break from things.
It's okay if you're not in the right mental space to create.
I also am learning that things should not be rushed.
Everything has a time, place and purpose.
It's funny because i'm always talking about & being an advocate for self-care but the truth is, i've been slacking lately. I even had a health scare and found out that I was severely anemic (almost needing a blood transfusion). I take my health seriously and this really made me want to slow down, rest & pour into myself.
I had to be real with Kelsey (yes, i'm referring to myself in 3rd person), and acknowledge that the way i've been living is not ideal for my personal goals and growth. Being real with myself is something that i've been dealing with this year -- it's always hard to bring my faults to light and deal with them face-on but 2018 has showed me that it's necessary.
My job ends this week and I am so happy.
I am also scared because I won't be taking another job in the TV industry in NYC anymore. In fact, i'm moving to a another country in a month and starting a whole new life. While it's exciting, I can't help but to feel a bit of anxiousness.
I've made a promise to myself to devote my time to my passions -- wholeheartedly.
Since I will no longer be working long hours, I am going to have time to write, read, practice self-care, paint and get myself where I want to be physically, emotionally and mentally. There won't be any room for excuses.
So, I write this as a letter to my future self to remind myself of where I was a month before embarking on a new life in a new country.
I am excited for what the future holds.